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The Cat-Hater’s Handbook – a subversive vintage compendium of playful anti-feline verses by William Faulkner, Mark Twain, Shel Silverstein, and others, illustrated by the great Tomi Ungerer.

poetry Shel Silverstein humor Tomi Ungerer vintage history and literature lit

NOTHING TO DO?
Shelley Silverstein

Nothing to do?
Nothing to do?
Put some mustard in your shoe,
Fill your pockets full of soot,
Drive a nail into your foot,
Put some sugar in your hair,
Place your toys upon the stair,
Smear some jelly on the latch,
Eat some mud and strike a match,
Draw a picture on the wall,
Roll some marbles down the hall,
Pour some ink in daddy’s cap –
Now go upstairs and take a nap.

Beastly Boys and Ghastly Girls, 1964.

NOTHING TO DO?

Shelley Silverstein

Nothing to do?

Nothing to do?

Put some mustard in your shoe,

Fill your pockets full of soot,

Drive a nail into your foot,

Put some sugar in your hair,

Place your toys upon the stair,

Smear some jelly on the latch,

Eat some mud and strike a match,

Draw a picture on the wall,

Roll some marbles down the hall,

Pour some ink in daddy’s cap –

Now go upstairs and take a nap.

Beastly Boys and Ghastly Girls, 1964.

art and design vintage culture and society Tomi Ungerer poetry humor kids history and literature

Here in this book, collected for you,
Are hundreds of things that you never should do,
Like stewing your sister, scarring your brother,
Or disobeying your father or mother.

Here in this book, collected for you,

Are hundreds of things that you never should do,

Like stewing your sister, scarring your brother,

Or disobeying your father or mother.

art and design Tomi Ungerer cats books vintage artists art

What’s so cute about an animal that loves absolutely nothing, makes your house smell terrible, and has a brain the size of an under-developed kidney bean? At last, a book that dares to answer these and other feline questions with the sane and sensible answer:
Not a damned thing!
The Cat-Hater’s Handbook – an irreverent vintage gem illustrated by beloved children’s book artist Tomi Ungerer.

What’s so cute about an animal that loves absolutely nothing, makes your house smell terrible, and has a brain the size of an under-developed kidney bean? At last, a book that dares to answer these and other feline questions with the sane and sensible answer:
Not a damned thing!

The Cat-Hater’s Handbook – an irreverent vintage gem illustrated by beloved children’s book artist Tomi Ungerer.